The 7 people you meet in the gym...

1. The gangsta girls- who wouldn't dream of working out without their hair and nails did, a full face of makeup and bling (including a gawdy necklace reading something to the effect of: Papo and Yulissa 4-EVER!)

2. Ugly in the face/Hottie in the Body- the ex fat girl you know worked her ass off to get where she is today, but as it turns out, she doesn't have a pretty face.

3. The Marathoner- the person who gets on the treadmill next to you just when you start to feel confident, only to run 7 miles in 20 minutes, as you spew snot out of your eyes at 4 miles an hour, and then has the nerve to say, "Oof, that was a good warm up"

4. The Veggie Stoner- The comparative literature major at the local university with the hemp workout clothes, who asks you for an extra scrunchie to pull back his dreadlocks in return for some of his post-workout meusli mix.

5. The Newbie- You, 5 lbs ago, when you first started going to the gym regularly. You try to feel bad for her when her efx beeps then shuts off every 5 minutes, but you really feel smug because she's the gym equivalent of a tourist, (you're a local) and that just makes you better.

6.Little Ms. Perfection- The girl who never seems to break a sweat, even though she spends about 8 hours at the gym and has abs you can bounce a quater off of. She probably dates #3 and every man in the joint wants to spot her on the weight machines. #5 can't stop staring at her, #2 hates her hard.

7. The chunky negrita who has surprising stamina, and gets so gangsta on the efx and the treadmill it looks as though she's on a mission- That's me. Nice to meet you.