Letter

Dear Jael,
When you win the Oscar for best original screenplay you will thank me...

For you Mother:
"Honestly Jael, you should really hurry up and have children young. Then you can gain even more weight and have gastric bypass surgery!"

For your best guy friend:
(On the phone with the girl he's not dating, but 'talking to', and who you suspect he's fucking)
"What? Why are you jealous? I'm just with Jael... BELIEVE ME, you have NOTHING to worry about!"

For your boss:
"Oh it was TODAY you were going to leave early? Can you just quickly fix these for tomorrow's conference call. THANKS you're the BEST!"

For your brother:
"oh, you're really going to wear that? Alright then, you do you."

Love Always,
GOD

P.S. You should really call me more often ;)