Thursday, December 14, 2006

Adrian the Bread

My cousin Adrian once spent a summer with us in the United States. It so happed to be the summer that my brother was going through the "let's rhyme everyone's name phase" (IE Jael the Bell, Jonathan Bonathan) He named cousin, Adrian the pan, but Adrian, because of his love of every thing america, insisted to be called Adrian the Bread. That's how I'll remember him, Adrian the bread.
Thanks to everyone who praid for my family, and sorry to all of you whose phone calls I ignored because I just didn't want to deal with anyone.
I think what I got out of this experience is that I don't get God sometimes, and that makes me angry sometimes, but in the end God is always going to be God, and God is always going to have an answer that makes so much sense that whatever suffering I feel now is going to pale in comparison to his plan.
Until I know what that is, I'll lovingly remember, Adrian the Bread.
PS. The film "The Good Shepard" with Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie was partly shot in the Dominican Republic. Adrian the Bread answered a casting call and got a roll as an extra, as a CIA agent. Check it out, maybe you'll see him.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Jael of Little Faith

Today at work I got a call that my cousin Adrian had died. About 3 weeks ago, Adrian was in a car accident, and had been in a coma ever since. Earlier this week, he finally woke up and was speaking and reacting well. All of a sudden, yesterday he had starting having convulsions and took a turn for the worse. Finally today, I hear news that he died. Well, after hours of just sitting around crying with my family, and in the care of AMAZING people from my church, we got a call from my uncle, that my cousin WASN'T dead. He had little brain activity, but that now it was looking alot better. Through the grapevine it had become that he was brain dead. His doctors in the dominican republic say that the next 24 hours are vital, and we'll see what happens. All of a sudden someone suggested prayer, and the first thing that popped out of my mouth was saying to my sister, "I can't believe they're hanging on to false hope." That's when I realized. I trust God to get me to help me with the GRE's and with Aps and Recs and get me into the right school, but when it comes to the impossible, I'm 'Jael of Little Faith'

So I'm just asking for you guys to pray that for my cousin, and for my faith, whatever the outcome. If there was ever a time for God to prove me wrong, this is it.


Monday, December 04, 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Why?! Why?! Why?!

yesterday I decided to treat myself for being a monster at the gym and I went to whole food and bought myself a teeny tiney single serving of Keylime pie. IT WAS AMAZING and I , of course, look at the calories on the package before eating it: 160 calories (insignificant). How about today I saw the package and it turned out that I read the wrong line. It was really 160 CALORIES FROM FAT!!! The whole thing is 400 CALORIES!!!! WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?!?!

But you know what, the cleaning lady at the gym, Mirtha, knows my name, I think that's saying something.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Christmas Present to Jael

Hi guys,
For Christmas for me, all I want you guys to do is follow this link

and complete 1 offer. That's it! This way I can get a macbook. Offers are pretty cool and cheap, usually, you only pay for shipping and handling, like $6-7 bucks, this is all I want for Christmas!

Thanks guys, I love you.

(P.S. If you want me to do the same for you, I totally will!)

I hate Holiday

The greeting card and retail business came up with this other holiday that starts the week before thanksgiving (when the radio stations start playing holiday music, which is AWESOME!) and ends the day after new years… And it’s called (fanfare), Holiday, because no one can seem to bring themselves to actually say Christ. But that’s not my beef, so feel free to join in the gift-giving Non-Christians, it’s all good. My beef is, that Holiday come RIGHT before a potential tax refund, and RIGHT before all those great after-holiday sales. So you’re either forced to sell your first born child’s ovaries to a barren socialite to pay for all those expensive presents or sweat it out at 5 in the morning on the day after thanksgiving with 500 other idiots.

Therefore due to lack of fund, I decided to start knitting (last week) so that, instead of spending loads of cash on actual presents, I would make them scarves and little cards that say, “A donation has been made in your name to the Saint Jude foundation.” Which is not entirely false, because at CVS you can buy little paper balloons for a dollar on which you can write the name of a loved-one and have it taped in the stores’ window and I was planning on buying one for each family member, and all the money ACTUALLY goes to St. Judes, but I digress. So far, in a week. I’ve managed to make a hairband, which could actually become a fashion statement, if I don’t say so myself.

If that wasn’t bad enough there’s the realization that Holiday is actually for lovers. Case in point, last Holiday my family decided that we would each get presents for the kids, as usual, but that the adults would do Secret Santa. While my gift was awesome, everyone but me had an extra gift from their significant other, and me, being the only single person left in the world, I only got 1 gift. I certainly don’t wish to be married at this point in my life, but a girl could use an extra present on Holiday, (and a little tap, just a little one).


Monday, November 20, 2006

Amazing day!

Dietwise- AMAZING DAY!

Workoutwise- AMAZING DAY!

Workwise- AMAZING DAY!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Sometimes, when you're at the gym, you just have to fart.

On Monday Dee gave me a vital piece of advice. If you're sick from your chest up (ie. a runny nose, cough) you CAN work out, If you're sick below your chest (corre coree, the runs) DO NOT WORK OUT. That really bursted my bubble beacuse I had used my little cough as an excuse not to even look in the direction to the gym this week. So FINE, this morning I woke up at 4:40, woke my sister up, so that we could be at the gym by 5. Well, I now understand the "below the chest" thing, because about 20 minutes into my work out, my stomach made a noise I had never heard it make before. I recognized it as a STRONG urge to fart. But how could I? There were about 20, not so happy, sleep deprived people around me, how dare I contaminate their workout air, they were losing so much air already. Well, my stomach spoke to me again, and it was mad as hell. It said, "Jael, either you let the fart out on your own terms or I will push it out for you. ERGO: this is how you let out a fart at the gym.

1. On whatever machine you're on, SLOW DOWN YOUR PACE. It's a scientific fact that the speed of the fart is directly related to the speed in which you are working out. So, do yourself a favor, don't worry that those around you will think you're weak for slowing down, slow down to warm up/cool down speed!
2. Gently cough and release between 20 and 25% of the gas within you. Remember, this will be slow, but slow equals slient. And if it's silent (even though it might be deadly) you can always blame it on someone else.
3. Repeat step 2 three to four more times, or until all of the gas is out of your stomach.
4. Look at the person on the machine next to you as if they had just said that the holocaust was a hoax. This way, those around you will think that this person is responsible for the new rancid smell. (*Note: the “you smelt it you dealt it” rule still applies here, so this may backfire on you. Use with caution.)

I hope that this tutorial has been helpful. Questions and comments are welcome.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

best quote EVER

I saw this quotes on myspace somewhere....

"I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk" HAHAHAHAHA

Thursday, November 09, 2006

now I'm just blogging for the sake of blogging

I've been doing really well... I'm on my way to the gym now. I have no time because of GRE studying and it's sabado joven this weekend.

alright, I love you all. Except those of you I hate.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Pa' fuera telaranas!

Dear Bitches,
Sorry. I haven't posted in a while....

Have you ever worked out angry at the world? well I recommend it! I burned off 1,000 calories at the gym in less than an hour and a half, my day was that bad. Today, I discovered that I have about $1000 less in my bank account than I thought I did (that's a significant chunk of change), instead of running to a pint of haggen daas, as per usual, I ran to the gym, because Dee told me to get my fat, lazy ass to the gym or I was going to DIE! (check out my myspace, I told you she'd be an asset).

Back to being angry at the world-- I now understand that there are things that I can't control. (plenty of things) but there are other things that I can... one of those being whether to sit in my room wallowing in my own self pity, or going to the gym and kicking ass. I choose the latter. I've let myself boldly go where no jael has gone before, I am freaking hot, (somewhere inside this mess) and I freaking deserve better than I'm giving myself. If I sound militant, IT BECAUSE I AM!

I also have a new theme song, and here are the lyrics.

Ella by Bebe

Ella sa cansao de tirar la toalla
se va quitando poco a poco telarañas
No ha dormido esta noche pero no esta cansada
no miro ningún espejo pero se siente to’ guapa
Hoy ella sa puesto color en las pestañas
hoy le gusta su sonrisa, no se siente una extraña
hoy sueña lo que quiere sin preocuparse por nada
hoy es una mujé que se da cuenta de su alma

CORO: Hoy vas a descubrir que el mundo es solo para ti
que nadie puede hacerte daño, nadie puede hacerte daño
Hoy vas a comprender que el miedo se puede romper con un solo portazo.
Hoy vas a hacer reir porque tus ojos se han cansado de ser llanto, de ser llanto
Hoy vas a conseguir reirte hasta de ti y ver que lo has logrado...

Hoy vas a ser la mujé que te dé la gana de ser
Hoy te vas a querer como nadie ta sabio queré
Hoy vas a mirar pa’lante que pa atrás ya te dolio bastante
Una mujé valiente, una mujé sonriente mira como pasa
Hoy nacio la mujé perfecta que esperaban ha roto sin pudores, las reglas marcadas
Hoy a calzado tacones para hacer sonar sus pasos
Hoy sabe que su vida nunca mas será un fracaso
(Coro again)

Bitches, I am empowered! As such, I choose not to take my measurement. It might bring me down.


Thursday, October 26, 2006

Christmas-like miracles

Today is the day of christmas-like mother, the woman who delights in any excuse to call me fat, told me I looked thinner.

Her exact words were, "Mija, tu te ve' ma' flaca!... pero tienes que bajar esa barriga."


Wednesday, October 25, 2006

hey...I tried

today I convinced myself to go to the gym because I told myself that if I work out, i'd be allowed to eat as many calories as I burned off. Because, of course, after working my ass off, I would NEVER eat that much.

how about au contraire, mon frere? This bitch threw done. But at least this bitch went, huh.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006


I'm currently having imaginary affairs with 2 men from my gym simultaneously...

1. Paco- a hispanic male who comes into the gym after work dressed in 3-piece suits, looks hot in both work and workOUT clothes. (aka Paco con Saco)

2. John- african american male- looks like John legend but he has a pony tail (it doesn't sound as hot as it actually is). He spends most of his time in the weight training section and everytime he lifts a weight he goes arrrrrrrrgh, kinda like a pirate.

Every girl needs motivation.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Results (week two)

Weight: 195.5 (-2.5lbs) (Finally!!! Finally!!! FINALLY!!!!)
Bust: 43in (-.5")
Waist: 41 in (-1)
Hips: 43 in (-1")
Thighs: R: 27 in (-0") L: 27.5 in (+.5")(HOW HOW HOW DID I GAIN HALF AN INCH???!!!)Arms: R:14 in (-0") L: 14 in (0") (No sleeveless for Jael.... yet!!!)

I haven't kept up with my blog in a couple of days because I've been all about, I really can't say enough, they have points, trophies, piegraphs, grocery lists and SO MUCH MORE!!! Do yourself a favor and check it out.Last week

I went to the gym 4 days instead of 5-- who are you to judge?, I DON'T HAVE A PINKIETOE NAIL!!!! However, I did see AMAZING results. I think that the best thing is that I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, naked, and said, "I'm not a box anymore. I'M NOT A BOX ANYMORE!!!"
I found a new trick to get me through my workout. I pretend that I'm the sexiest woman in the room and workout accordingly, (shaking my booty and listening to maneater by nelly furtado) How about this is now my favorite thing in the world!
So! so far:
Total LBS Lost: 2.5 (that's a total of an 8750 calories deficit!!!)
Total Inches list: 8.5

I'm afriggingmazing!

Good luck skinny bitches!!!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I went...dammit

Life's a bitch. Just when I start enjoying going to the gym and experiencing what a runner's high is-- I kill my pinkie toe. I left my weight out yesterday to remind myself to TURBO YOGA and literally split open my toe!

I almost didn't make it to the gym, but I went, a little begrudendly and I ended up enjoying it. And I got to hang out with my gym buddy (Yil's dad). Thank GOD for the efx (little to no impact!)

I think it might work out for the best because 50 minutes on the efx burns more calories than 30 min on the efx and 20 on the treadmill. I'll just get hotter faster.

I have to go to bed because I have Bible study with the girls tomorrow night, that means I HAVE to workout in the am. GN nigs! peace!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The importance of a pinkie toe

Last night, I set out my weights to remind myself that it's tuesday, and time for IRON YOGA. Well, the alarm sounds at 5am, I jump out of bed then BAM! I stub my left pinkie toe on my weights. The pain is unbearable, which makes me angry (what a freaking slap in the face, stupid weights). I go back to bed (after, of course, peeing), only to wake up to find little drops of blood on the floor in my room and in the bathroom. I OPENED MY FRIGGING PINKIE TOE!!! I could only do efx today (no impact) and half assed IRON YOGA because of the pain. But on the other hand, I've never had a sports injury before.

Monday, October 16, 2006

The 7 people you meet in the gym...

1. The gangsta girls- who wouldn't dream of working out without their hair and nails did, a full face of makeup and bling (including a gawdy necklace reading something to the effect of: Papo and Yulissa 4-EVER!)

2. Ugly in the face/Hottie in the Body- the ex fat girl you know worked her ass off to get where she is today, but as it turns out, she doesn't have a pretty face.

3. The Marathoner- the person who gets on the treadmill next to you just when you start to feel confident, only to run 7 miles in 20 minutes, as you spew snot out of your eyes at 4 miles an hour, and then has the nerve to say, "Oof, that was a good warm up"

4. The Veggie Stoner- The comparative literature major at the local university with the hemp workout clothes, who asks you for an extra scrunchie to pull back his dreadlocks in return for some of his post-workout meusli mix.

5. The Newbie- You, 5 lbs ago, when you first started going to the gym regularly. You try to feel bad for her when her efx beeps then shuts off every 5 minutes, but you really feel smug because she's the gym equivalent of a tourist, (you're a local) and that just makes you better.

6.Little Ms. Perfection- The girl who never seems to break a sweat, even though she spends about 8 hours at the gym and has abs you can bounce a quater off of. She probably dates #3 and every man in the joint wants to spot her on the weight machines. #5 can't stop staring at her, #2 hates her hard.

7. The chunky negrita who has surprising stamina, and gets so gangsta on the efx and the treadmill it looks as though she's on a mission- That's me. Nice to meet you.

Jy-Results! (Posted yesterday on the ayqueflaca blog)

I had an almost perfect week, I worked out 5 days last week and did strength training for 3 of the 5 days. (Sunday- Thursday) and I ate fairly well on those 5 days.
I sort of have this dilusional dream that calories during the Sabbath don't really count, so I pretty much GO NUTS during the holy Sabbath hours, but then it creates a momentum that I can't really stop until I get my shit together Sunday night/Monday morning.
But now I'm back in business. I wasn't able to make it to the gym today (there was a flavor of love marathon and the finale is in 20 minutes! So I couldn't in good conscious leave the house) so I did thing called turbo yoga or power yoga, pretty much it's yoga with weights which KICKED MY ASS and I was able to do it in the comfort of my own home and still watch about 10 hours of flavor flav!!!

SO! Here are my vital stats in the second week:
Weight: 202 (STILL?! WHY? WHY? WHY?!)
Bust: 43.5in (-1.5" MY BOOBS ARE SMALLER!!!! HURRAH!!!!)
Waist: 42 in (-1.5" YES YES YES!!!)
Hips: 44 in (-1")
Thighs: R: 27 in (-.5") L: 27 in (-1")(Finally BALANCE!!!)
Arms: R:14 in (-0") L: 14.5 in (-1")

I've lost 6.5 inches in 1 week!!!! While this probably has alot more to do with what time of the month it is (Sorry, Espinaca) I think that those results also have at least a LITTLE to do with me working my ass off all week. And, I found out that muscle has memory, so if you were in shape at 0ne point in your life (which I was not too long ago, sort of) you'll get back into shape alot quicker that it too you the first time. YEAH!!!

Good luck skinny bitches!!! hasta la semana que viene!

Thursday, October 12, 2006


incredibly tired....just got back from the gym...want to go to sleep. have to wake up tomorrow at 5. almost a perfect week

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

God is good!

A couple minutes ago I was sprawled on my bed on the phone with my sister (recovering from a GANGSTA half hour on the treadmill) when I saw the bottom of my yellow Forever 21 bag, and written on the bottom was "John 3:16" and, if you know me, you know that I love covert Christianity in the mainstream. How about I immediatly went to their website and planning on buying about $250 of clothing, accesories etc. Except, I don't have any money, but when I do I WILL SUPPORT THIS MINISTRY!!! It turns out that the owner (Don Chang, or similarly asian name, is incredibly religious and still manages to make hoochie clothes! HURRAH!!!!) It's about time someone made Christianity sexy!!!!

I digress...
Last night on two different unrelated ocassion, I found something that changed my life forever. Here it is: It's possible to eat not enought as to prevent you from losing weight!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!! That means I need to eat MORE MORE MORE!!! I love this, because I literally have been starving myself. There have been days when I've been running on 500 calories and working out like a mad woman and yet WEIGHT NOT BUDGING!!!! That's because I've been starving, then binging, then starving, then binging. And when I binge I always forget to purge and then it never works out for me. My metabolism my be like, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?!?!?!"
So I hear that the key is whatever your goal weight is (140) add a 0 to is (1400) and that is the amount of calories I need to be consuming so that my body feel like it's dying. 1400 is not too bad, a nigg can through down with that amount.

Food consumption (Keeping in mind my new fountain of knowledge and the fact that I have to make up for a couple of lost calories)

Blueberry Muffin (heating with a little butter) 490 calories

Chicken Pad Thai 600 calories

2 leanies (veggie hot dog) 300 calores

1390 calories! I'M FRIGGING AWESOME!!!!

I had a little trouble waking up this morning. Actually, I called Eri (all the way in MD) so that she'll wake up and go to the gym, but we both ended up rolling back over and going back to sleep. But I decided that I wasn't going to have it, and I went for an hour after work and got a little gangsta on the treadmill. Well. I have to get to bed soon (after the Biggest Loser) so that I can actually wake up and go to the gym.


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

On a roll

Ok, so I was a little emotional today so I decided to binge on something. I chose sushi because all the japanese I know are incredibly thin, so, I figure, a roll must be like, what?, 3 calories. Well, I just googled it, and it turns out that a roll (I had a california, a spicy tuny and a philly) can be between 140-350 EACH! I'm going to assume that it's in the 140 range, because seriously, those calories were consumed in ignorance! IGNORANCE!

Other than that my day was great! I wasn't able to pull myself out of bed at 5 am, but I did at 6 am, and I was able to strength train and to do a half hour on the efx. What sucked about that was that I didn't have time to blowdry this morning, and going curly with my new short hair is not my best fashion trend--(I looked a little like side show bob today--sideshow chic)

I've noticed that at the gym the only people in the efx section are me and the knewly retired men. Although, my nee friend Dale's calves are killer. But I really need to find a workout machine that's more young urban professional.

Breakfast: of course, special k and fat free soy milk

Lunch: a couple left, over soggy pieces of last nights cucmber sandwhiches

Snack: Smart pop popcorn and crackers

Dinner: Sushi roll debacle. (DAMMIT!!!)

But whatever, even beyonce has a bad day. It's all about allocation of calories. I'll see what I can do tomorrow. Well, goodnight. I want no excuses to waking up tomorrow.

Monday, October 09, 2006


Today was another excellent day! I went to the gym and I was right about that efx machine! It was a breeze today because I was on one that was NOT broken. That's always a good thing.
So tomorrow's workout is going to be kind of tough, because I'm going back to work, so I really have to keep this going.... but I totally believe in ME!

Breakdown for today:

Bowl of Special K with red berries and fat free soy milk

String cheese, wheat things, grapes and smart pop popcorn
(um not the healthiest thing, but I had a cocktail/bible study party for the girls in my church and I knew that I would eat alot then, so I was trying to allocate calories, I'll do better tomorrow I promise!)

Cream cheese and cucumber sandwhich, 4 martinis (virgin-- I counted about 250 calories- that's what I meant about allocating), and a small sliver of chocolate cake (BAD BAD BAD-- but a really SMALL sliver).

My workout was fantastic-- I did 30 minutes on the efx, which really was a breeze! Then I did intervals on the treadmill. I don't have the stamina to run a 10 minute mile at one time (I did before I became MORBIDLY OBESE-- less than a year ago). But this is what I do now, until I can build up the stamina:

5 minutes on 3.5mph
sprint for 1 min 7 mph
recover for 3 min at 3.5mph
repeat the cycle 5-6 times

In the beginning, I was totally like, this is TOO EASY!!! But by the 4th cycle I was about to die and I had to convince myself to do the 5th and final cycle, but it worked out well. I was a mess for about 5 minutes in the locker room afterwards, but I'm looking forward to when it's so easy I can sprint for 20 minutes straight!!!

Another thing that I found out today that TOTALLY AWESOME is that muscle has memory. WHICH MEANS that I will build muscle mass really quickly, because just a few months ago I was incredibly muscular and thin (well not thin, but thinner and still very muscular)

Plan for tomorrow:
Strenght Train the same from yesterday and 30-60 min of cardio. I should go to bed. UP AND AT 'EM at 5am!


Finally got back up

I just began a blog with a couple of friends from college to track our weightloss effort. But I don't want to let negraflaca die, so, as that other blog ( will hold weekly and monthly update, this will continue to be my day to day effort tracking system.

Here are my vital stats (written last night around 7pm):

DAMN, I wasn't ready for that jelly!!!!
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 202
Bust: 45 in
Waist: 43.5 in
Hips: 45 in
Thighs: R: 27.5 in L: 28 in
Arms: R:14 in L: 15.5 in

Before pic
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
So that's it. This is the picture that made me go DAMN!!! I gotta do something. But I'm totally sure that I can because I've been heavier than this and I got down to 180, and I know I can totally do it all over again and then some.

My Last Hurrah!:
Last night I had my last hurrah, something to commemorate the beginning of this effort at a life change. I had a turkey melt from friendly's and a chocolate bundt cake from starbucks. (AMAZING!!!) But that's it! Of course I'll have my little rewards during my life change, BUT in moderation.

TODAY:It was hard getting started today, it was just a lazy day! I ate healthy all day though:

Breakfast: 2 hard boil eggs and a bowl of special K with soy milk

Lunch:Turkey and lettuce wraps

Dinner (I'll have it in about 20 minutes):Rice with salmon


Around 4pm, I was finally able to get my sht together and I started doing strenght training (The plan from last month's fitness magazine which begins with a little core training then it has a some circuit training, that was a little easy in the beginning until you begin the circuit again)
After that I went to the gym, with the intention of working out and hour (30 min on the efx and 30 min of the tradmil) however, while on the efx I felt that I was going to PASS THE HELL OUT!!! Which was really odd, because I had done that same workout a million times before (just not consistently and not coupled with an amazingly healthy diet, that's why I am so fat now). Well, it turns out that I was on the efx that was out of order and ups to doulbe resistance (so my level 5 was really was level 10!) And even though I was EXAHUSTED after the half hour was over, I burned about 550 calories in half an hour! I can't wait to go to the gym again tomorrow (only on a different efx machine). Well, it's time for my sensible dinner.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Fell off the wagon...

Last night I had a coffee colonic. No it's not the delicious drink from Dunkin Donuts. It it pure nazi-level toture. You are asked to lay down on the board laid out between the toilet and a chair, you are then directed to lime a slim cylindric instrument (oiled, of course) into you...ass... and are pumped with gallons of mysterious dark liquid. Now I knew that things could come out of there, but in? That's just unnatural! Then I proceded to...evacuate what I believe could be the solution to this nation's oil deficit. I think I've chosen to black out the proceding of the next hour, not eve listening to Nelly Furtado could cure me. But I emerge, as does the pheonix, a NEW WOMAN!!!! My tummy was flat! My cheeks rouged! I was in HEAVEN!!!! This morning I woke with a new bounce in my step... I must've lost 5, 10 lbs! As I got on the scale, I set it at 200, (I was optimistic, yet cautious) The bar went straight to the bottom. HURRAH HURRAH!!! I have broken the barrier!!! In the 200 NO MORE!!! With a grin, I slide the weight to where it says 150, and play around with the little weight, 199, the bar shoots up. WHAT?! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! But 200 was still too much. I decided to compromise. 199.5 a perfect balance. I was a little dissapointed. After having relesed fertalizer for an hour straight the night before, I was sure I had lost more than 1.5 lbs.

That dissapointment, plus stress at work caused me to have a turkey grinder for lunch, after already having eaten my sensible brakfast. So I fell off the wagon one me. Who care?! Beyonce would pick herself right back up and that's what I'm going to do. LONG LIVE THE LIMONADA!! I will continue... 4 days and 7.5lbs lighter, it can't get no better!

PS I heard that Janet Jackson would have coffee colonics when she was trying to lose weight. Maybe I misjugded it. ok, just 1 more time.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I recently heard that Beyonce lost 20lbs in 10 days on a lemonade diet/cleansefor her recent roll in some movie.
Here's how it works...
Special Lemonade:
1 cup water
2 tablespoons of lemonade
1 tablespoon of maple syrup
1/10 table spoon of Cheyenne pepper

That's it. That's all you have all day everyday for 10 days.

Supporters claim that it detoxes your system, or some junk, and blah blah blah blah.

Here's how i think it really works, you're having basically 0 calories. Yet, you're boosting your metabolism with the cheyanne pepper, spiking up your blood sugar with the maple syrup, all with a delicious lemony flavor.

But who gives a crap. If I lose weight fast, keep it coming.

So I decided to try it beginning with lunch on Monday August 21, 2006-- I had had a muffin and a mimosa for breakfast (it was to benefit a food pantry in providence, ri--so it was for a good cause. Then comensed my diet. Well, 24 hrs later. I was 2lbs lighter. On wednesday I had lost another lbs and today another 2. That's a total of 5 lbs from Moday- Thursday. I think that my secret is that i've chosen to modify the diet

In the morning I have a sensible breakfast: about 500 calories (to keep up my metabolism, and give me energy to work out)

For example, this morning I did about 20 minutes of strenght training, then I had 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 1/2 cups of special K and 1 cup soy milk. Then drink drink drink. After work I went on the efx for 50 minutes and burned a total of 710 calories.

I feel like I wish I could chew something-- but other than that it works out great! There are some who might say that this is incredible unhealthy: but so is putting anorexic models on fashion magazine covers, so i'm just buying into the hype, like a good Young Urban Professional should

The fact of the matter is, on monday I weight 206lbs (yes, 206 lbs at 5'6") and today I weight 201. Long live LEMONADE!!!