On the C

We were all minding our own business, trying desperatly to avoid contact with one another, when when she entered the train. She was gorgeous, at least 250lbs, 5'11 dressed to the nines- the heels of the stilletto boots quivering at 65 degree angles. She was a big girl, but she knew how to dress to impress. The ironic thing was that it was not her clothing that impressed us C-Train Commuters at 8:43 in the morning.

Ok, I've thought of a million segues into this, but nothing quite grasp the concept other than just blurting it out. That woman had THE BIGGEST ASS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN LIFE. One only seen in music videos and that only Sir Mix-a-lot could sing about. This was a legendary, park-your-bike-in, set-your-drink-on ASS! AMAZING!

I peeled my eyes away from her only to see all the fellow commuters staring at her ass in as much amazement as I was. And when we got to her stop those same eyes followed her out as each cheeck jumped under her skirt as if independant from each other.

For a second, there was complete silence on the train. I think the others, like me, were trying to take it all in and register what they had just seen. We all just sat there, catatonic, until a homeless man so eloquently broke the silence when he said, "Well, damn!"